My wife challenged me with this one recently. We have a picture on the wall of a vase of roses with a scripture next to them. The verse is I Corinthians 13:4-7. She took me to the picture and asked me if my “love is patient?” I was a little startled but answered honestly that it wasn’t all the time. Then she answered honestly for herself. And then she went through the whole list.

So I ask you, what is your honest answer?

Love is patient. Longsuffering. Love gives patience the ability to last longer.

Love is kind. When we love, we are kind. Even when wronged. Even when we don’t want to be.

Love does not envy. Jealousy and envy (not the same thing) don’t come from love.

Love does not boast. Arrogance gets in the way of loving others. Loving oneself does not allow room for loving others.

Love is not proud. This is not the kind of pride that comes after a child’s performance. This is the pride that prevents humility when wrong or the acceptance of others.

Love is not rude. Even when someone is being a jerk, love prevents us from acting rudely in return.

Love is not selfish. Love wants for the other person, not ourselves.

Love is not easily angered. Ah, the double edged sword. Love slows one to anger. Like patience, love provides more staying power from anger.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. This one is tough for us humans. We don’t easily forget, or forgive, the wrongs done to us. Love helps us to do so.

Love does not delight in evil. It’s tough for evil and love to exist in the same place. When you love someone, you want what is best for them, not what is bad for them.

Love rejoices with the truth. I know, we live in a relativistic society. Well I don’t. I believe there is truth, and when someone finds it there is rejoicing.

Love always protects. We protect those we love. It’s in our nature.

Love always trusts. If you love someone, you trust them. Not necessarily with every little thing, but in general, you would have a trusting disposition toward that person.

Love always hopes. Hope is something we all need in a relationship. Hope gets you through the rough times. When you’re not feelin’ the love, hope can get you through.

Love always perseveres. Like hope, perseverance requires fuel. Love is that fuel to get one through the rough spots and the trials and tribulations of life.

Love never fails. Love always wins. When people try love, the stories are amazing.

How did you do? However you define love, are you living that out daily with those closest to you? Whoever said “love is a verb” was right. Unfortunately, many people believe that love is a feeling, an emotion. It’s not. Love is a decision that leads to action. I know, I know, I feel loved too. Feeling loved is a core need for all of us. But how do we recognize it? Didn’t someone do something for us that promoted a certain response? Of course. They are showing us that they have decided to love us by their actions.

Go love on someone. You’ll be glad you did.


Todd has been a therapist for over 20 years in a variety of settings. An unconventional therapist who tells the truth, Todd has taught undergraduate and graduate level courses, and authored his first book, Simply Relate.

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